Trump's New Secret Handshake

The Trumpty Dumpty Report

In a time of deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act- George Orwell

No legacy is so rich as honesty-William Shakespeare

    Trump flew to Seoul, South Korea, following his trip to the

 G-20 summit so he could have a playdate with his autocratic psycho pals and tell the world that he “had a really terrific meeting with President Xi [of China]. We discussed many things.” He just loves when he can talk about “things”. Knowing that The Cretin can talk about “things” reassures the world that he knows what he is talking about. “Things” makes everything so clear and precise, especially when it comes to trade talks.

    Now in South Korea, following his Russian Idiot Asset briefing he received from Vladimir Putin, the Orange Mess of a President invited his man-crush, Lil’Kim Jung Un for a love-crush tryst at the DMZ so the two can shake hands.

    “If Chairman Kim of North Korea sees this, I would meet him at the Border/DMZ just to shake hands and say Hello (?)!” wrote the Orange Mess.

    He went on to say that “I have a new handshake. I tried it out on President Xi (see photo) and I want to feel it with you, too, Lil’Kim. It’s really, really great. We can call it Donnie’s bromance shake. I’ll only use it with my real life pals, whose action figure toys I keep in my toy box.”

    “I want to thank him in person for the very beautiful birthday card he sent me. I keep it taped to my make-up mirror.”

    When asked if it would be a bad sign if Kim stood him up, Trump said, “No, of course I thought of that. It’s very hard, since I know Kim follows my Twitter.”

    Our Russian Idiot Asset president believes if he wasn’t president, we’d be at war with North Korea. We seem to get along really well. That’s a good thing, not a bad thing. For the stupid people who say, ‘Oh, he gets along,’ it’s good to get along.”

    So, in other words since Trump gets along with Lil’Kim, he must be one of the stupid people. How true!

    “…I’ll let him know, and we’ll see. We’ll see each other for two minutes. That’s all we can. But that will be fine.”

    A two minute love handshake thrill from Trump is all that is needed for Trump to walk away satisfied. Trump knows what a cheap thrill really is.

    All it takes is two minutes.