The Nobel Peace Prize

The Trumpty Dumpty Report

“Hello Prime Minister [Shinzo] Abe, this is Mike Pence, President Trump’s able successor if he were to get impeached.”

“Hello Putz.”

“No Mr. Prime Minister, it’s Pence.”

“Why are you calling me?”

“I’m calling because there has been talk in the President’s Daycare Center that you are the only possible world leader who could nominate President Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize.”

“What is the president doing that required YOU to call me with your request?”

“The President is playing war with his favorite action figures pretending to fight his liberal enemies in order to retain control of his big wall, while wearing his Space Force jammies.”

“Oh My God!!!” “You want me to make this recommendation?”

 “Yes, you sir.”

“Why would you think I would recommend Trump for such a distinguished prize?”

“If you would, we would consider lowering Japan’s tariffs, if you would kindly do so.”

“OK. I will write the letter. Does Mr. Trump actually believe the nominating committee would consider him? The guy is a wannabee dumbass gangster.”

“Let us deal with all that. Please, just write the letter. Thank you Prime Minister. Good-bye.”

While standing in the Rose Garden, President Doophus said, “I just recently had a letter read to me written by Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, of Japan, recommending me for this thing they call the Nobel Peace Prize.” “President Obama got one after being president for 15 seconds. He had no idea why he got one. I know I probably won’t get it. I won’t hold my breath.”

We are all hoping you would hold your breath.