President Trump's Christmas Message To America

The Trumpty Dumpty Report

    The president is stuck in his Oval Office day care center all alone on Christmas. Everyone else is down in sunny Mar-A-Lago living it up as elites do on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. No doubt, they are just so happy to leave the Grinch behind.

    This Christmas Cretin Scrooge Tweeted, “ Look at me everyone. Whoa-is-me! I’m all alone. No one to piss on. Poor me. I shutdown the government and I’m proud of it. Those federal workers get days off. They’ll get paid when Chuck and Nancy just give me what I want and all will be fine. Wa, Wa.

    I’m so lonely sitting in my poop wearing my Space Force jammies eating Fish crackers and playing with my train sets. Choo, Choo. So fun!

    No one wants me. Not even the troops. My BFF Kim Jong Un doesn’t know who Santa is. They don’t know Santa over there. I don't think North Korea is on Santa's Christmas Eve sleigh route. No chimneys. I can’t wait to see him at our next summit. We'll give each other the secret handshake. Maybe he will smell my hand again. He does that.

    I know I’m the Bestest president EVER. Poor me. I’m all alone. No more nuclear threat in North Korea. AMERICA IS RESPECTED AGAIN by my White Nationalist poorly educated base. I love saying it.

    Come visit. I’m all alone. We can eat popcorn. I’ll burn some West Virginia coal in the fireplace, if you come by. We can all wear my MAGA Christmas hat. It lights up! The stock market fell 655 points in one day. Worst day. Bad Fed. I’ll be able to now buy up Park Place and St James Place. My move!

     I love NATO. They’re wrong about me. Just do as I say, and then, we will get along.

    Poor me Pore me!!!", Tweeted President Cretin on Christmas. His Christmas message to all Americans. Oh, how it comes from the heart.