Trump Rants and Rages to White House Staff

Trumpty Dumpty Report
     

Trump has been spinning in a rage in front of his White House staff. He spoke through the PA system to his staff and overheard by a few reporters, “It wasn’t me!! I didn’t do anything. It was all Cohen’s doing. He’s bad. I’m good. I’m really, really smart. I’m innocent. Paying hush money isn’t illegal. I thought I was giving him money for Hush Puppies. I love buckets of Hush Puppies and they make great shoes, too. I never wore Hush Puppies. They were made for the poorly educated kids. I was rich. I had millions of dollars as a kid. Very rich. Very smart. My brain is uh….hum. Anyway, he paid them all on his own. I just paid him for donuts. I like the ones with chocolate sprinkles and with the chocolate stuff on top. And, for wine and Fish crackers. I need my Fish crackers. Right NOW! Yes, Yes! So it cost me hundreds of thousands. I’m very, very rich. What Cohen did was his idea. I’m the good guy. So, I endorsed an NRA ad for my candidacy. I didn’t know I couldn’t do that. I didn’t know that I could talk with the NRA about ads for my candidacy. Who cares anyway? I’m famous. People want to talk to me because I’m famous. I’m a big star. Bigger than Reagan!! My Trump Tower is called Little Russia!!  I didn’t have deals in Russia. So I tried. Putin is my BFF. He’s a great guy. He came up with the secret handshake. So cool. What’s wrong with that? So I didn’t tell the voters about my Russian talks. They don’t need to know my business. I’m too rich for that. I’m the president. You do what I say! I’ve got fans. Real fans. Big fans. I love the poorly educated. They’re my people. I must have my way!! I’ll shut down the government. I’ll be proud to shut down the government. Nancy and Chuck will come begging to me. I WON’T share my Fish crackers. No way!!! No more free haircuts!! No coffee breaks for all!! Build that wall. Build that wall. Build that wall.................................

And, I AM NOT A CROOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  (Where have we heard that before.)