Trump's Morning After Syndrome

The Trumpty Dumpty Report

Trump suffers from Morning After Syndrome. A previously diagnosed condition that his physician kept hidden. If he doesn’t take his Morning After pills the night before, his P.M.S (Post Moronic Simplemindedness) flairs up to a point where he is totally out of control and might possibly need restraining. We are witnessing his most recent flair up with this week’s early morning Tweets.

    Recently, he reached blood pressure lift off after Saturday Night Live made fun of him and his Supreme Court drunken stooge—Brett-No Regrets-Kavanaugh in a skit based on “It’s A Wonderful Life”, whereby Trump lost the 2016 presidential election. Pinhead Trump tweeted that such comedy should not be allowed on television. “IT’S SLANDEROUS!” he dribbled. “It’s not funny. I know funny when I see it. Just look at Rubio’s tiny fingers. Now that’s funny. Or, Mitch McConnell. He looks like a turtle with his thick neck and that head that could go back into his shell at any minute. Sometimes I see him as the Scarecrow. That makes me really, really laugh. I don’t have a brain. Or is it, I don’t have a heart. I can’t remember. I have to keep from losing my bladder. Now that is NOT funny when it happens. Brett is a controlled beer drinker. He only keeps a six pack in the trunk of his car at all times. He’s down from a case or two.”

    “Baldwin doesn’t even look like me. Who the hell is Matt Damon, anyway? Amateurs! I’m the famous one. I had the best T.V. show ever—in history! I do mean EVER! Now I’m president, the greatest acting job EVER!! YOU’RE FIRED!”

    “I’m pulling out! And, I’m not even talking about my thing with Stormy. I’m talking about Syria. Where the heck is it anyway? It’s a war zone. The chances of a Trump Golf Resort there is finished. So, why stay there? Heckava Job Pompano, or however you say his name. We won. ISIS is gone. I’m the bestest president EVER! I BE BESTEST Commodore Chief that ever been. I have Space Force Jammies. I’m special.”

    Then later, the Cretin-in-Chief declared that “I don’t need no stickin’ wall. All I need are steel slats. That’s right. Steel slats. That’ll be my great, fantastic wall. Slats. Slats are great. That’s what I want from my Kongressional Klansmen and you too Ryan.”

    “And, Mattis decided to fire himself. I like that. He didn’t like that we declared “Mission Accomplishment!” over there in Syria. And, why do we need to stay in Iraqnid, or whatever it’s called. If they don’t be best to me, then I don’t be best to them. That’s how I do it. That’s how I do THINGS. You know what I mean by THINGS? You better know.”

  News broke out that the Trump Organization hires undocumented South American migrants to do jobs that no one else in his base will do. He can’t find those people who he loves so much—“the poorly educated”—to do housekeeping at his Mar-A-Lago resort. “When ya can’t find a poorly educated MAGA supporter to do MY jobs for the bestest president EVER, then find an illegal. I only want the bestest ones. Bring me the bestest ones.”

    This Tweet storm from our Space Force Jammies guy illustrates a guy totally unhinged and insane.