General Kelly Had To Take President Trump's Magic 8 Ball Away

(Answers range from positive ('It is certain') to negative ('Don’t count on it') to neutral ('Ask again later').

It was reported by a presidential insider that President Trump's chief of staff General Kelly had to take his Magic 8 Ball toy away. "The President appeared to be abusing it. He was using it to set policy and decide delicate concerns. He had it with him on his trip to Singapore."

An anonymous source said, "The President asked his Magic 8 Ball if Chairman Kim was going to denuclearize just for him?" "The toy showed the response, 'don't count on it'."

"This angered the president and he began ripping up every piece of paper he could get his fat-fingered hands on."

"General Kelly had to act fast and confiscate the toy quickly during the commotion. As a dozen staffers raced around picking up all the torn scraps of paper, the president kept yelling, "Who has my magic ball. Who has my magic ball. I need my magic ball."

"Kelly Ann then escorted the president to his room where his tray of cookies with iced letters saying, "I am making America Great Again" was waiting for him.