The Mirror

President Trump was seen standing in front of a large mirror down the hallway from his office fluffing his hair saying, “You’re really big and really wet! My IQ is one of the highest and you all know it. That Jamie Dimon. Nervous twit. Isn’t smart enough or have the aptitude to be president like me. I’m a very stable genius. Like really smart.” Then he gave himself a two thumbs up. Following that gesture, he is heard saying in response using a different voice. “You’re the twit, moron! You’re an idiot just like they are saying about you. Everyone is talking behind your back. Woodward sucked the air out of this White House. I bet Melania and Baron will write their own tell-all-book. No one will take a bullet for you. Your ship is sinking. Now Manifort will squeal like a pig. He’s going to save his skin, dumbass! You are an idiot president. You don’t know anything!”

Then back to his regular voice. “You’re the idiot, just like that nervous mess, Jamie Dimon. I’m the bestest president ever!!

I have my own biggest and bestest company. It’s really, really big. Dimon is just a banker. It’s not even his bank.”

Then back to that other voice, “Your business is a loser, just like you! You’re a fake news story and a bad deal businessman, and lousy president. You’ve got traitors surrounding you spilling your stupidness all over the place. Watch where you step, you clown. Now, go away and leave me alone, you Russian stooge. Go give your BFF, Kim Jung Un a really big and really wet hug.”

At that point, the president turned around to see if anyone was watching him. Two aides were overheard huddling out of sight whispering, “There he goes again talking to the mirror. What an idiot!”