Trump on Kavanaugh

President Trump was heard on Air Force 1 on his return from his U.N. stand-up gig, railing against Democrats for questioning Kavanaugh’s sexual dailiness and drunken stupors resulting from his youthful assaultive behaviors. “How dare those evil, horrible, bad, very bad Democrats refusing to nominate my gem of a guy to the Supreme Court. Clarence is lonely. It’s a con game. Brent, or is it Bart, or maybe it’s Brett. It doesn’t matter. All I know it starts with ‘B’. My Gem is part of my BWBboy Club. You know, great guy. Boys will be bad boys. [Trump runs his fingers through his comb-over front to back revealing his significantly balding scalp.]

I know bad people. ‘B’ boy is terrific. Believe me. I’m the stable genius around here. I don’t know if you know this?

I’m the president! It’s true. Good genes. Vote him in. [Trump begins to chant it several times waving his arms up and down wanting the staff on the plane to join in. It becomes a loud chorus.] Give me more power! Self-pardoning is a wonderful plan. He and Clarence are just bad, bad boys. When you’re powerful, you can do whatever you want. Bing, bing, bong!”