Robert Mueller

The Trumpty Dumpty Report

    A White House anonymous insider spoke to a reporter and described the President after receiving Robert Mueller’s written questions. The President was asked to write his answers.

    The President said as he walked the halls of the White House announcing to anyone who would listen, “I didn’t need a dictionary. If I didn’t know one of the words, I just skipped over it. That made it very easy. The questions were very easy. I wrote out the right answers.”

    [Reporter interjects a comment- there were no right or wrong answers. Only truthful answers.]

   “ I’m happy how it all worked out. You know, I don’t have to tell you my I.Q. is one of the highest and you all know it. Donald Trump’s very, very large uh-brain. My fingers are long and beautiful, especially when I hold one of those special Presidential signing fountain pens.”

    “There alota people out there. No collusion!!! Smart people; you know what I’m saying! Bing, Bing, Bong! Believe me. Believe me.”

    “I’m so stable. You wouldn’t believe it. Unbelievably. My answers. It was beautiful. Wonderful! Phenomenal. I’m a fast trigger. With the fountain pen, of course.”

    I wish I were present when Robert Mueller received The President’s documents. I wonder if the penmanship was legible and if he was able to write on the line. Were there comments written in the margins? Will these papers be entered in the collection of future presidential papers that will be archived in the Donald Trump Presidential Library? And, where will the library be located? The first floor of Trump Tower? There may be a spare room available in the rear of the ground floor attached to the storage closet. That location would fit all relevant materials, such as the MAGA red hat, those red ties, empty medication bottles, a few Mar-A-Lago golf balls, the original Melania jacket that had ‘I Don’t Care. Do You?’ emblazoned on the back, and a box of jump drives of taped footage of those Nationalist style rallies, and “summit” meetings.