Trump Barks And Howls At The Moon

President Trump was seen running around the White House on all fours, after hearing about a new memoir written by a former advisors titled, “Unhinged”. The president said, “when you give crazed, crying lowlife a break and give her a job at the White House…firing that dog.”

Omarosa wrote in her tell-all book that she believes the president was entering into early dementia.

It was leaked by White House insiders that Trump always sees himself as a dog. He regularly goes up to women and sniffs them, as well as rubbing up against their legs.

The president is definitely a Horn Dog! Remember when he told the reporter, Michael Corcoran, “There is nothing in the world like first-rate pussy.” And, there was the infamous statement when he objectified his daughter when saying that if Ivanka wasn’t his daughter, he’d go out with her. He also paid for sex with strippers and models. As we recall when he rudely said about Carly Fiorina, “no one would vote for her because of her face”, as well as calling Megyan Kelly a bimbo.

You get the picture.

When the president calls others dumb, slobs, pigs, or dogs, he is actually speaking about himself. Self-reflection. A look in the mirror. Glancing into the pond. The president cannot distinguish himself from a dog. Or, maybe he is just a Weird Wolf.

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President Trump decried, “Obama did it. He did it. That horrible person. He violated campaign finance laws. He did it! It was my own money used to hush up those women just weeks before the election against “Crooked Hillary”. My hush money didn’t come from my campaign. Sorry people. I Be Best all the time. I Be Best president ever!”

Trump declared, “Campaign finance violations aren’t a crime.” The law specifies that if the action was done with full knowledge and willfully, then it is a crime.

“I tweeted about the payments. I tweeted,” said Trump. But Trump transferred his own money to Cohen who made the hush money payments. Therefore, through this hands-off of cash to silence his sex kittens from coming forward, investigators will have to determine if the $130,000 payments from Cohen, who took direction from Donald Trump, exceeded campaign finance limits to the presidential campaign were violated. The silencing of his sex playmates through cash payments given to Cohen in order to suppress this scandal from surfacing to the top of his campaign may very likely be campaign finance violations. It sure sounds like collusion to prevent Trump’s sexual romps between the silk sheets from turning into a flash fire scorching his presidential chances, but has yet to be determined.